Do It Right - Chapter 1

by Dana C. Edmonds


I?ve liked this guy all my life, and for a while I thought he liked me back. Then two years ago my brothers started teasing him about hanging out with me, so he stopped.

Now he?s dating this other girl who asked him out (and who used to talk about how unattractive he is!). He says he hates her, but they?re still dating.

I?m so confused. I?ve liked him forever, and he knows it. I?m trying to be his friend, but I get mad at him and his girlfriend.

How come life is so unfair? And how come guys are so strange?

A s the father of a teenage daughter, I agree?guys are strange. I try to tell my daughter this all the time, but she won?t listen! (Sorry, guys; I really don?t dislike you. It?s just that I?ll like you a whole lot better when my daughter is finished with grad school and has started her career. Once she finishes school, I?ll be delighted for her to find a nice Seventh-day Adventist young man?with a job?so she can start spending his money instead of mine.)

Anyway, sometimes the only thing worse than not getting what we want is actually to get it. You really want this guy, right?

But let?s look at this. He knowsyou like him, yet he?s dating someone else (whom he says he hates). Now, there?s a loyal boyfriend for you! And he stopped hanging around you because your brothers teased him.

Are you sure you really want this relationship? He?s probably a nice fellow, but you might want to look more critically at the characteristics he?s displayed in his relationships?disloyalty (he hates his girlfriend but keeps on dating her) and wimpiness (he stopped hanging around you because your brothers teased him). Is this what you really want?

You probably still want him, and I understand. I liked a girl from the time I was 6 years old until I was about 20, and she knew it. She kind of strung me along all those years?because I was willing to be strung along.

If that?s what you want, I understand; I was there. But I?d rather see you be nice to this young fellow (which doesn?t mean be around him all the time, because it?s hard to get over a person that way) but be gone.


Why are girls so hard to understand?

If I had an easy answer to that question, I think people would pay me big bucks for it!

I?ve been married for more than 20 years to a wonderful person, but even after all this time I confess that I still don?t always understand my wife.

Take Christmas shopping, for example. My wife likes to drop hints, and my children and I are supposed to figure out what she really wants.

I don?t understand that. Suppose I miss the hint, which I frequently do (I?m not very good at catching hints).

But my wife wants to be surprised at Christmas. I don?t understand that, either.

When my sister-in-law called me this past Christmas and asked me what I wanted, I told her the title of a book, the author, and where she could buy it. I?d rather expect a gift and get what I want than be surprised and get something I don?t want.

Not my wife. She wants me to put some thought into it.

Well, when I do think about it, I think about the fact that I don?t have money to waste. So if she?d just tell me what she wants, I?d buy it, and we?d both be happy. But she wants to be surprised, to which I say, ?Bah, humbug!?

Anyway, we tend not to understand people who aren?t like us. Women are different from men physically (but you knew that already!), and I suspect they?re different in other ways as well.

Some feminists will tell you that there aren?t any differences between men and women other than the physical ones. Well, I don?t agree, though even the physical differences tend to make understanding each other a challenge.

Take, for example, the fact that women can bear children, and we men (praise the Lord!) can?t. Since there?s pain involved in childbirth, I don?t understand why a woman would want to go through it a second or third time (and in some cases a fourth, fifth, sixth, etc., time). I believe in avoiding pain.

?Why?? I used to ask my wife when we?d debate whether or not to have a second child. ?Why do you want to go through all that again??

I still don?t know why she wanted to?but I?m glad she did. Otherwise, I wouldn?t have my son. (I suspect there would be fewer children in the world if men had to bear them!)

You know, I?m glad that my wife and I are different (at least most of the time). I wouldn?t want my wife to be just like me. I?ve learned so much and my life has been so enriched by the diversity in our home, which includes my daughter (who?s more like me) and my son (who?s more like my wife).

I just wish my wife would come right out and tell me what she wants for Christmas!

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